Februari 11, 2017
simulation games are a great way for a player to experience a job or an activity that they would normally never be able to do. in surgeon simulator, players take on the role of a doctor who needs nerves of steel and a steady hand in order to save lives. but it's impossible for two people with no medical training to actually perform a heart surgery in real life.
or is it? so, we have come out here to the rooster teeth emergency medical center to test whether or not two laymen with no medical training whatsoever can perform a complicated surgery under intense pressure. and to help us with our experiment, are two of our favorite lab rats, michael and gavin. it's us.
how you doing? great. burnie: so, have you ever done anything in the medical field at all? i... burned ants with, like, a magnifying glass. does that count? not at all. i've cut some sizable steaks. that's not even close, but okay. well, you guys have a ton of experience with this game, right?
gavin: that's true. michael: for sure. so this should be a breeze for you guys. easy. so, today you guys will need to successfully perform a simulated heart transplant by removing the sternum, several organs, then the heart itself. you'll then replace the heart and reconnect the large arteries
before blood loss causes the patient to die. *sighs in disbelief* burnie: as you guys know, the surgeon simulator franchise is notorious for being difficult to control. so it's even hard to pick up an object. fingers are hard. so here's the way we are gonna emulate that. each of you is gonna have one hand bound behind your back.
and then you're gonna be wearing wrist restraints as well to restrict your movement. burnie: alright, get ready for surgery. i'm gonna go talk to marcus about how we are gonna pull this off. wash your hands. burnie: with soap. i'm using the right hand. *sadly* why? because it's smarter. do you want him to live, man? burnie: okay, so, michael and gavin
are going to have to navigate some pretty complex human anatomy. gus, marcus. who are we operating on today? well, we thought about this long and hard - - and, of course we wanted to give them the epitome man like the vitruvian man by da vinci. burnie: oh! so, it's ultimate specimen. oh, gus!
gus: yeah? burnie: c'mon! *marcus laughs* it's you! well, yeah, like i said. the handsomest, perfect man. burnie: yeah, but we want them to connect with the patient so they feel obligated to save his life, right? hey, i'm their friend. burnie: if they see you sitting there, they're not gonna wanna do anything. yeah, they will.
burnie: but we're not gonna give these guys real surgical tools to work with, are we? of course we are. they'll have access to real surgical tools like drills, foreceps, scissors, and, of course, a whole batch of other things available only in the game. so they'll have plenty of things to be able to pull this off. okay, marcus, let's just assume they might see gus lying there and decide they want to save his life.
how are they gonna do that? marcus: the heart will be placed inside the chest cavity and connects to two tubes. one allows the blood to flow into the heart and the other for the blood to exit. michael and gavin will need to remove these tubes then quickly clamp them, stopping the blood flow so that they can easily replace the heart. atop the heart will sit two working lungs and a rib cage they will have to break. alright, well this seems like it's going to get gross really fast.
so let's get out of here. gus: sure. burnie: we're wearing white, for god's sake. *beep* announcer: paging dr.jones and dr.free to the or. paging dr.jones and dr.free to the or. michael: oh, c'mon! gavin: right at home. gavin: who the hell is that? michael: is that, is that supposed to be...gus?
gavin: what? no? what? michael: *laughing* i think it is! michael: look at the eyebrows! gavin: that doesn't look anything like gus. michael: look at the eyebrows. well, it's not real, gavin. it's a goddamn dummy. (voice-over) burnie: so gavin and michael are now prepped for surgery. burnie: they are gonna have unlimited time to save gus
burnie: but as soon as they start to operate, burnie: they are gonna be fighting blood loss just to keep him alive. michael: what the fuck was that!? gavin: michael! michael: get open, you fuck! michael: oohh, there's the heart. gavin: oh god! michael: there's the, there's the... michael: it's... oh, it's awful! gavin: oh, there's something to get, look the part. gavin: how do you stethoscope with one hand?
michael: here, i'll help you out. gavin: i'm gonna knock myself out with this. michael: you grab one. gavin: see, this is the-, now you flip that michael: sorry, gus. michael: alright, now you wanna go that way. there you go. michael: alright, you... gavin: ow ow! gavin: yep
michael: what? it's, they're like bike handles! gavin: hey, michael. *heart beats* *gavin giggles* michael: am i alive? gavin: yeah. michael: okay. gavin: alright. michael: oh shit! orange burst! gavin: dude, it's empty. michael: he drank it all, you piece of shit! gavin: oh, dude!
you know how we'll be able to tell if it's gus? michael: oh, check his dick? michael: oh! gavin: oh, c'mon! gavin: it's penis!!! michael: oohhh! gavin: *laughter* what the hell!? michael: what!? michael: *laughing* should i drill his dick a little bit? *giggles* gavin: we should. michael: i don't know if i should do this. gavin: oh, you broke the drill on his penis! michael: ah, dammit!
gavin: alright. his dick's hard! let's see what... oh, god! michael: what's up? gavin: *gasps* michael: it's hard. i feel like he's already open. we need to save his life. right. *gavin screams* michael: ohh my god!!
gavin: he's breathing!! michael: oh ho ho ho ho that's way worse than i thought it was gonna be. *coughs* michael: dude, where's your vomit bucket? michael: you're gonna have to throw up in that cup. gavin: here's a bucket. michael: oh, gus, you're disgusting! *groans in disgust* gavin: oh, it's so slimy!
gavin: why isn't this attached to anything? michael: oh fuck, dude. gavin: oh, dude. gavin: where does this lead to? michael: how do i... *screaming* gavin: this, we've gotta connect this to something! gavin: and the lungs- wait, is he still breathing? gavin: yeah, he's good. michael: he's good. gavin: alright, we need to smash out those ribs. michael: alright. well, where's that little hammer you had?
gavin: alright, ready? *crack* oooohhhhhhhh!!!!!!! *more screams* *laughter* gavin: flipping hell! gavin: it's stuck.michael: it's stuck. michael: but look, you cracked the rib here. gavin: that went all over me, dude. michael: oh, careful!
*screaming and laughing* gavin: it's fine. michael: this probably won't work, right? gavin: uh, what, it's a reflex? burnie: okay. although michael and gavin have cut into gus, burnie: his blood loss seems managable... so far. gavin: oh! michael: oh, we're ohh, we're tied up! michael: oh my god! gavin: guts tray! michael: you think he needs these? gavin: tug of war. michael: like, if i just snip this...
here, smell it. burnie: snap. even though removing the organs is necessary to get to the heart, burnie: the lab rats only have to replace the heart itself to save gus. michael: do it. it's gonna come out. michael: ohh, god! gavin: why is it always aimed at us? gavin: augh! michael: gus! gavin: it's dripping off me! michael: stop, you son of a bitch! gavin: we gotta pay attention.
michael: nah, we're good. uhh, we're not great. michael: he's not doing great. michael: watch the light, watch the light. gavin: face hug. michael: dude, remember when we did this in the video? gavin: yeah. michael: *monster noises* gavin: there we go, that looks nice. michael: alright, you're looking good. *gavin about to puke* michael: dude, the gurgles coming out of you.
michael: augh! michael: i think this is his stomach. gavin: *coughs* what is in that? *squish* gavin: it's, like, full of liquid. michael: do you wanna pop it? gavin: no. michael: uhh, oh, here we go. michael: wait, hang on. i'm cutting it. i'm cutting the stomach.
gavin: ohh *gavin about to puke again* michael: gavin, st- i saw something earlier gavin: you're gonna make me throw up. michael: that can help with this situation. gavin: *disbelief* a salad? *plop* *gagging* michael: i don't know why this was in here, but i'm assuming it's cause of this. *michael grunting*
gavin: *horrified* what is that!? michael: there's a gr- there's a grape in here. michael: hang on. gav. michael: gavin. michael: they went through the trouble of giving us a plate. gavin: get that- *gags* michael: alright, hang on. hang on. hang on. burnie: oh, please michael. please do not eat that. gavin: i threw up!
michael: no you didn't. gavin: i threw up again! burnie: michael, don't. *gavin and burnie gagging* gavin: why would you eat that? *michael gagging* cause it was a grape. and people love grapes. play times over. *heartbeat monitor beeping*
michael: oh, he's not doing well. gavin: oh, we gotta- *gags* gavin: i threw up a little bit? michael: you threw up a little bit? michael: look at it, look. gavin: you ate out of a... fake stomach! *still eating* *shocked and disappointed in michael* michael: it, it grows on you after a little bit. *squirts*
michael: fuck! oh my god! gavin: stop eating the, the turd! gavin: alright, let's get a lung out. michael: alright, hang on. hang on. michael: oh, this might work. michael" here, i'll, i'll hold it. you saw it. gavin: okay. michael: oh your- ohhh god! *struggling* gavin: he's bleeding like hell! he's bleeding like crazy! michael: *screaming*
*more screaming* michael: jesus christ! *screaming* burnie: alright. burnie: the guys are having trouble with the lungs burnie: because they now have to actually cut through and separate them. burnie: it can't be easy with only one hand. michael:i can't see anything. i can't see. gavin: alright, we're just gonna yank this lung out. gavin: ow! michael: is it not cut yet?
michael: what are you doing? michael: you're not gonna yank it! gavin: alright. michael: what are we even cutting? michael: oh, we got it. gavin: we got it? michael: we got it, we got one. michael: okay! gavin: is this... gavin: alright, he is ble- gavin: alright, get the other lung. michael: this does not happen in the game! gavin: get the other lung, dude.
michael: i'm trying, i'm looking. pull it out. pull the lung, pull it. michael: *grunts* got it! burnie: yep, now that the lungs are out, blood is spewing. burnie: they are going to have to work much more quickly. burnie: they need to remove that heart. *michael screaming* gavin: get the new heart! get the new heart! burnie: okay, the heart came out easy. burnie: but reattaching it is gonna be a different story.
gavin: gonna go ahead- *chucks the heart* michael: wet paper towel? gavin: there you go. michael: but seriously... michael: uh, he's almost dead. gavin: alright. michael: hold the heart. hold the heart. gavin: alright. michael: in the body! gavin: alright. michael: try to connect these. michael: this is very delicate science. michael: you have to connect the cardiovascular...
gavin: can you see what you're doing? michael: a little bit, but not a lot. michael: i also can't- gavin: ohh! michael: attach it- it's going again! gavin: i'm trying to pinch it off! burnie: gus is now below 900ml of blood burnie: they're running out of time; he is losing so much blood! michael:... fucking heart hooked back up.
michael: the heart's just sitting here. gavin: alright, alright. michael: hold it. hold it. hold it. line it up. gavin: it's so slippery! what are you made of? michael: oh, i almost got it. hold it! gavin: you gotta have more precision, you're jabbing it in- michael: no, i got one! i got one! burnie: okay, so michael looks like burnie: he's reconnected one of the two heart valves. burnie: one more and they might actually pull this off,
burnie: but they are running out of time. gavin: oh! michael: here, squeeze this part right here, this little thing right there, michael: hold that part. right, there we go. *gavin screaming* michael: just hold it. just hold it. just hold it. gavin: michael! michael, my eye! gavin: michael, my eye! michael: you just need to hold it! gavin: i can't see!!! michael: hold it!!! gavin: how can i hold it!? *gavin panicking* michael: i think it's in, i think it's in.
michael: is it in? gavin: can i leave yet? burnie: well, doctors free and jones scored a d- on that round. burnie: they were able to save the patient, burnie: as long as he doesn't need any of his other organs. gavin: ohh! michael: that's a fucking d- right there! michael: ayo! we fucking saved him, man! michael: you little buddy! you made it! *cheering*
michael: jesus christ! alright, well you guys actually did really well. even though you don't look happy about it in the least. gavin: nope burnie: nah vomited, didn't i? the good news is you go the heart back in the patient so you were able to save the patient even though he apparently lost about five buckets of blood it looks like. ehh?
so what would you say? harder than the game? nothing like it. way stickier. well, there is still one part of the video game that we wanna test. burnie: and here's the way this is gonna work. you guys, are gonna get in the back of the ambulance. you're gonna perform the exact same procedure again while you're driven to the hospital
and you have to finish it before you arrive at the emergency room. who's driving? that would be me. and if you want to see this very special episode of immersion, just head on over to roosterteeth.com where it is playing right now for first members. get in the back, guys. we're fucked. he can't drive this. gavin: remember on lazer team? michael: he couldn't drive the cop car.
they had a stunt driver. get in! burnie: thanks for watching, everyone. be sure to visit roosterteeth.com to see the bonus episode of immersion and watch michael and gavin perform surgery in an ambulance that i get to drive.
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