Januari 14, 2017
-joel: you know, it's funny cause we've played this game before. -j: we played the first one, but we got too scared, and so we... -adam: we made excuses for ourselves. -j: alright, ready? -a: alright, i'm kind of ready. -a: so we only have one mouse, so we're just gonna kinda alternate when necessary. -j: nights. -a: when necessary. -j: or when we start fighting with the mouse.
-j: alright, new game. -j: you know, you kind of look like one of the puppets. -a: i mean, the nice part about this is our whole night is going by. -j: this guy-- i mean, it feels like it's been two hours. -j: don't get it. -j: part of the main things, i don't know what we're supposed to do. click? -a: okay -j: he's still there... -a: what is play audio? play audio.
-j: no, i don't want to do that. i think that's a distraction. -a: go ahead and play audio. -a: you know, there's a reason-- he's said something about vents... -a: here, close the map. close the map. -a: we did it. we did night 1. -j: alright, that is-- and that is five nights at freddy's. -j: see, the problem is, adam, is we never know-- -a: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. -a: oh fuck!
-a: check the cameras. -j: i don't have control, adam. -a: yes you do, see that [incoherent mumbling]. -a: click that. click that, click that. -a: okay, ventilation error. -a: click that. -a: okay, so if you click that, it reboots it. -a: exit. -a: okay-- nope, go right. now we gotta go to our camera system.
-a: camera. -a: okay. -a: alright, let's check our cameras. -j: i don't like that i'm-- -a: i don't like how spooky it is. -j: --driving this. -a: --like, the game is. -j: there's a lot to do with right now for a game that is, like, there's not a lot to deal with. -j: i feel like there's a lot to deal-- i don't like this camera is angled (a: alright, that's a fucked up camera).
-j: and this is us right here, right adam? -j: this is camera one... -a: that's-- that's you. -j: right, so i'm saying this is right outside the door... -[screaming] -a: okay, go to our, go to our-- -[more screaming] -a: fuuuck! -a: i broke my headphone!
-a: my headphone is broken! -j: i, i can fix it. -j: what's "load game"? -j: we're loading the first, the second level. we're back on the second level again. -(j: oh, fuck, i don't think i can fucking do this.) a: holy fuck, that guy just came outta nowhere! -a: i guess that's the point. fuck that guy! -a: how are we supposed to stop him, do we close the door? -j: [in an italian accent] i don't like this-a game, it-a turned me italian. -a: alright, listen.
-a: i need you to [incoherent mumbling] i need you to do something. -j: what? -a: we gotta-- stop it. -j: stop what? -a: stop it. go to this camera. -j: oh no, wait. play audio, that's what stops it. -a: play audio. -a: why won't that stop it? -j: well, i never played it.
-a: well then play it! -a: what are you talking about? -j: i wanna find it first. -a: listen. -{hi} -a: no, no, go here. go here now. -a: go away from this. -j: how, i don't know how. -a: go away.
-a: no don't hit escape! -j: don't hit escape, okay. -j: how do i get out of this? -a: click away from it. -j: toggle map. -j: okay, that doesn't work. -a: how do you get out of this map, jeremy? -j: oh wait, vents. -a: vents are good, vents are good. listen, we need to get out of the fucking map!
-a: click here! -j: how'd that happen? -a: now, close the fucking door. holy fucking close the door. -j: there is no door, is there a door? -a: there has to be a door, you have to be able to close it. -j: there's a vent right there. -a: how do you close the fucking door? -j: jeremy... (a: jeremy's trying to sneak up and scare us.). -j: um, can you close the door?
-j: i don't know what to do! -a: why are you trying to-- why are you under the table? -j: wait wait wait wait. there's camera vents. -a: stop being under the table. -j: why don't i just-- ventilation error, ventilation error! -a: ventilation, fix the ventilation! close this! -a: close this, close this! -a: close the fucking [incoherent mumbling]! -a: fucking fix it!
-a: how do you close the door? how do you close the door? -j: i don't think there is a door! -a: there is a door we have a door right there, that's a fucking door! -j: there's no door, adam! -a: how to you close door? -{hello} -a: no! -j: i'm just doing that cause i think that makes it go away. -a: no it doesn't!
-j: yeah, it does. -a: go to cam 01, this is where the bad stuff happens! -a: what is that-- [screaming]. -a: hold on, hold on! -a: fix it! fix it, fix it! -j: it's dark, it's so dark (a: fix it!). -a: fix the ventilation, fix the ventilation! close the fucking door! -[adam yelling] -j: i can't, i don't...
-a: close-- camera system! -j: it's not working. -a: reboot all! -a: reboot it. -a: go to the camera system! -a: close the [incoherent mumbling]! -j: it won't let me exit. -a: click it-- no, click the map. -j: what do i do?!
-a: i don't know, map toggle! -j: he's in the hallway, not in the vent. -a: i don't know, i don't know, i don't know! -j: what do i do? -a: [incoherent mumbling] -j: we'll just look away at a different-- is there a way to just-- -a: he's coming in, he's coming in! -a: he's coming in the door! -j: that, that-- i did the "hi".
-j: no no no, he's not here. -a: he just went around, he's coming in from here! -j: no no no, i played-- well, i don't know what to do, adam! -a: how do stop-- we gotta close the door! -j: there is no door. -a: we have a door frame! -j: jeremy, is there a door to close? -a: what do you-- how do you do it? -j: how long...?
-a: what do you do? -j: audio error, audio error! -a: fix the audio error! -j: oh god, so hard. -a: reboot it! -j: i think all that we can do is play that audio! -a: what does that do?! -j: it's 3 a.m., it's 3 a.m.. -j: oh, he's right fucking there.
-a: where is he, where is he, where is he?! -j: he's right fucking there. -a: where is right there? -j: he's fucking in the doorway, adam. -a: is he in the door-- the guy was already there! -a: there was a guy in the doorway. -j: oh, fuck. -a: fudge it-- fix the camera, fix the cam-- [screaming]
[more screaming] -a: what else-- what does the audio do? what does the audio do, just stop him? (j: god damn, i mean, i did everything...). -a: oh, you're luring him to our room! -a: you're luring him right next door! -j: oh oh oh oh oh, so i play the audio, i have to have the... -a: you're luring him to us! -a: you're luring him to the doors closest to us! -j: well, how do i-- no no no, i mean, you play the audio in the camera that's selected... -a: you lure-- it's it's a bait, it's a bait, you play it as a bait. you're luring him close to us.
-a: god damn it! -j: well this isn't stressful at all. -a: good, i'm glad you're not stressed. -j: alright, okay. -j: alright, okay, camera. -a: you gotta check the camera, you gotta find the fucking guy. -j: alright, where is he? -a: check 05. -a: i have a good feeling about 05.
-j: he's not in 05-- well, let's pick the ones-- -a: let's not pick the ones closest to us. -a: play audio right here. no no, don't. i lied. -j: we gotta save it. we gotta save it, we gotta find him. -j: this-- this room, and i'm not lying, smells of like a football locker room right now. -j: is that him? no. -a: you're smelling fear. -j: we smell like fucking sweat. -j: where is that fucker?
-j: where is he? -a: go away jeremy. -j: i don't know where he is, adam. -j: oh fuck, he could be in the vents. -a: oh, fuck me. -a: to seal a vent cam-- to seal a vent, double click the vent cam. -a: video error, fix the video error! -a: close, close! (j: we're so bad at this, we're so bad at this!) -a: fix it.
-a: okay, close. go back. -j: it won't, it won't let me. i have to fix it. -a: oh, you have to wait? -j: you have to wait. -j: jeremy, fucking don't-- -a: don't. -a: he's your boss. -a: don't do it. -a: no, let's skip the vents for today.
-j: he's in the vents! -a: you don't know that! -j: cause he's not in the-- not in the vents. -a: okay, go back. -j: i don't see him, where is he? -a: okay, cam 01. -j: not here... -a: okay, cam 05. -j: we would see-- we would see him...
-a: oh, this is bad. ventilation error. -a: fix the vents. -j: we haven't seen him yet. -j: it's 2 a.m., good news. -j: there has to be a time in the game that's good news-- -[adam screaming] -j: why is it-- -j: what is that? -a: i don't know, it's red!
-j: if he's in... -a: watch this, watch this... -a: this is bad. this is the noise, this is the noise. go to 04. -a: play the noise, play the-- -j: ah, i went away! -a: no, no [adam screaming]! -a: we gotta-- we gotta go to 02, we gotta play the noise in 02! play the noise in 02! -j: how do you play it?! (a: play it, play it, play it!) -a: audio error fuuuuuuck!
[adam screaming] -a: fix it! -j: it's the audio, alright go to [incoherent mumbling]. -a: he's breathing! -j: i'm going to fix it. -a: oh he's fucking coming in the room! play it, play play play play play! -a: maybe it saved us-- -j: did it work? -a: i don't know! i don't know, i don't know anymore!
-a: the video error, fucks the fucking video-- fix the video! -j: it didn't work. -j: adam, i can't do this all day. -a: let's keep going for a while. -j: can we just say if we can get to night 3, that's a win? -a: i don't know, at this point i don't know if we can get to night 3. -j: we're really bad at this fucking game. -a: i think we're doing better-- -j: are your headphones fixed?
-a: i fixed them. -a: these are actually exploitable headphones. -[incoherent mumbling from jeremy] -a: oh, that puts me at ease, jeremy. thank you. -a: so let's not go to vents until we hear him. -j: where's that shitbag? -a: what a fucking piece of shit. -j: i mean, it's just body odour in here. -a: you know what it is? i forgot to wear deodorant today.
-j: no, i'm sweating like a fucking pig right now. -j: i'm sweating like a fucking pig. i'm sweating all over... -j: it's like he comes out of nowhere. -j: so if i have this camera selected and i play audio, it'll play here, right? -a: it'll play on cam 04, so if he's in an adjacent room, he'll go to that room. -j: well we need to find him! -j: how come he's never far away? why is he always close to us? -a: oh, oh, this is bad. this is bad. play the audio here. -a: play it.
-{laughing} -a: okay, now-- -a: watch the-- there, there he is. (j: oh, that's him!) -a: motherfucker. -j: alright, that's good. -a: that's good. play-- go to 10, go to 10. -a: let's just go-- we'll bounce him around the rooms! we'll bounce him around! -a: go ahead and play audio! -j: well, we don't have endless audio, adam.
-a: we have endless audio. -j: adam, why don't we just-- video error, video error! -a: joel, go fix the fucking video error right now! -a: go here. -a: now go fix the video. that was a good move-- that was a power play, that was a power move. -a: playing audio before we fix the video error cause it give us something to go to when we fix the video error. -j: and we have time anyway, we have time anyway. we have time, we have time. -a: good job. -a: real good of a job.
-a: alright, let's get out of here, check the cameras, see where he is. -a: we gotta check video, maybe 07? -a: maybe 08? i don't know-- -j: bullshit! -j: alright, he didn't count. he didn't count. we're still alive, we're still alive. -j: he didn't count. -j: that was bullshit. -j: why's it so dark? -a: ventilation error, fix the ventilation.
-a: fix the ventilation. close this. -j: where is he, where is he? -a: play the audio! play the audio right here, play it right here. -a: let's play the audio, let's power play. -a: play the audio. -j: i can't hear my audio phones. -a: close it. -a: that turn is rough. that turn is rough. -a: i got one ear.
-j: how the fuck did he get all the way from fucking-- -a: are you fucking kidding me? -j: how'd he get all the way from fucking room 10 to us like that? -j: and the audio died in the game. -j: oh, cause i unplugged the phones. -[adam laughing] -j: alright, don't throw the fucking headphones. -a: i can't, it's a reflex. -j: no, i'm talking to myself.
-a: oh. -a&j: don't throw the headphones. -j: i'm just gonna do everything that you say. -j: cause i can't think. -a: well, that's not good. -j: alright, actually, it's not gonna happen. i'm just gonna do what i want to do. -a: let's check the cameras. -j: i'm going as fast as i can here. -j&a: alright.
-a: 05. -j: nope. -j: 08. -a: so we got some-- we're getting some static. -j: yeah. -a: is he in this room? -a: we're getting some static. -a: switch cameras, switch cameras. -j: so i mean, it's really static
-a: he's, he's, he... -a: this is the room. he's coming to this room. -j: you think he's in 03? -a: he's coming from 03 to 02. -j: he's coming from 03 to 02? -a: i think. -j: how do you know that? -a: i heard-- i felt it in my heart. -j: i haven't seen him.
-j: where the fuck is he? -j: wait, wait. -a: what, don't say that, this is... -j: like, when we-- -a: fuck, fix the video error. -a: i don't like that guy. -j: i don't like that guy. -j: this is hard, we're having a hard time. -j: having a hard time.
-j: don't, don't-- no touching. -a: i'm scared. -j: where-- where is he? -a: check them. -j: oh, wait wait wait. -a: that was bad. -a: this is bad. -a: go to 01. -a: go to 05.
-j: 01 seems good. -j: 02 seems-- -a: this seems dangerous. -a: we're checking too close, we're going too close. -j: well, i mean, if it's close-- -a: switch off this camera. -j: so if we stay on a camera too long, the puppet guy comes. is that what jeremy said? -a: switch off the camera. -j: switch off the camera?
-a: no no, go away from it, i mean. go to 10. -j: go to 10? -a: we gotta find this guy. -a: shit. -j: we haven't even gotten to play a thing yet. -a: play a sound, somewhere. -j: now, he said-- oh fuck, he's in the ventilation shaft. or no, he said we would hear-- -a: i don't like that -j: what the-- oh, that's the ventilation!
-a: we fixed it, it's fine. -j: is that the ventilation? -a: fuck the ventilation, we fixed it. check the fucking cameras. -j: no no, but that's-- -a: no no no no no. -j: the "beep beep beep" is ventilation? (a: no no no no no.) -a: we'd hear him walking around in there, right? -j: is it "beep beep beep"? -a: ok. we're fine, we're fine, we're fine. map toggle. go back to-- we gotta check the cameras, dude.
-a: check 02. quick. -a: oh fuck, switch switch switch! -a: switch, switch, switch! -j: i did it wrong. -a: video error, fuck. -a: get out of here. -a: click. -j: video error. -j: no puppets.
-j: i don't care about puppets anymore. -j: now what happens, adam? -a: oh, that's him! -j: that's him. -a: okay, we need to play a sound in 10. in 10. play a sound in 10. -a: 10. -j&a: did it. -a: okay, get out of there. -a: he's gone, check 10.
-a: he's not in 10, check 08. -j: do i do 09? play 09? -a: check 08. -a: check-- check this. -j: i think he's in 09, right? -a: play sound in 05. -a: no there he is! he was in 09. -j: play 10? -a: he was in one of the ones you were just at. which one were you just at?
-j: i don't know. -a: go to 09. -a: he's gone. go to 10. -a: play sound at 10. -a: now check-- check 08. check 07. -a: check 05. check 06. -a: check 01. -a: (whispering) fuck my ass. -j: fuck my ass.
-j: what time is it? -a: it's 3 a.m.. -a: check cameras. -j: which ones? -a: check 02. -a: we gotta check-- inside out, inside out, inside out. -a: check 09. -a: play a sound in 09. -a: holy fuck!
-j: puppets are not-- exist. -a: puppets are not exist. -j: is that ventilate beeping? -a: ventilation, ventilation, ventilation. -a: play a sound, play a sound in-- -a: oh my god, he's on our screen. he's on our screen, dude. -a: hit 10, hit 10. -j: alright, and that is how to five nights at freddy's. -j: that's how not to. oh, new series. how not to.
-a: that's the joke.
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