Januari 14, 2017
michael: hey gavin. gavin: hey michael. micheal: are you ready? gavin: i'm ready. michael: okay. gavin: (giggling) i had coffee. michael: so this is five nights at freddy's. gavin: what is that thing? michael: that's like a mechanical animatronic thing.
gavin: you said it was like chuck-e cheese. michael: it's like chuck-e cheese, yeah. where they have the animatronic animals. gavin: i can't say i've ever been to a chuck-e cheese. michael: are you kidding me!? where's your childhood? what did you have in england? like billy zoones or something? gavin: -jelly mountain and the ball pool and stuff. michael: jelly mountain and ball paul.
gavin: and the death slides. kid zoon was top. michael: all right, so i guess... i don't know what the hell's happening. we're like security or something. gavin: is this chuck-e cheese at night? michael: no, it's fucking freddy's. michael: five nights at freddy got findgered. gavin: freddie wong? michael: wong. high school musical. video games.
phone guy: hello? hello? oh shit. who's calling? phone guy: i wanted to record a message for you. michael: kay. phone guy: to help you get settled in on your first night. michael: it's like nighttrap. phone guy: i worked in that office before you. i'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. gavin: nice art on the wall. phone guy: i know it can be a bit overwhelming, but there's nothing to worry about.
phone guy: you'll be fine. michael: shut the fuck up. phone guy: so let's just focus on getting you through your first night. first there's an introductory greeting from the company. it's kind of a legal thing, you know. welcome to freddy fazbar's pizza- michael: oh my god! phone guy: -a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy come to life- gavin: we should just let this play out.
both: oh! michael: shit! this is the security camera footage. gavin: there's a duck. michael: this guy's fucking ratteling on, so gavin: okay, so there's an empty room with... michael: birthday hats. gavin: some party hats. gavin: it's pretty creepy mechanical toys. michael: pirate cove.
phone guy: -the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night. michael: the fuck does that mean? gavin: get quirky at night. phone guy: -if i were forced to sing those same stupid songs for 20 years and i never got a bath i'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. so remember these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children- michael: what the fuck is this power? we're running out of power here. phone guy: -just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. gavin: so we're in between four rooms.
michael: what's that? gavin: we're in the middle of those four rooms, right? michael: yeah. we're where 'you' are. gavin: so they gonna come in our room? phone guy: -bite of '87- gavin: gross. phone guy: -it's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe. now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you, if any is the fact that these characters, if they happen to see you after hours, probably won't
recognize you as a person. they'll most likely see you as a metal endo-skeleton without it's costume on. michael: are you shitting me? phone guy: -against the rules at freddy fazbear's pizza, they'll probably try to forcefully stuff you inside- are you shitting me? gavin: it's so creepy. michael: we're gonna get got by mechanical monsters. gavin: we're gonna get stuffed into a suit.
michael: and put into another mechanical monster. gavin: why are you only cheeking these bottom rooms? michael: because they're gonna get us here! this is our last line of defense! gavin: they're all stuck in the top room ealier. are they not there now? they're still there. michael: this guy is fucking ratteling on for a thousand years. shut the fuck up. gavin: go into 1a.
michael: okay. 1a. gavin: are they all still- one of them- michael: wasn't there one here? gavin: one of them moved! michael! michael: goddamit. gavin: find him. (yells) gavin: why is he there now?
and now i bet one of them's gonna out the other door in 1a and be in- oh god, is the duck still there? okay, i'm really worried about the duck, to be honest. michael: he's gone. where'd he go? gavin: how fast he hauling ass- michael: camera disabled! what the fuck does that mean?! gavin: go in 1a again. go in 1a. okay, the duck's still there.
1b is- gavin: what? michael: is that something in the hallway? gavin: christ michael: that's right near us. if we keep looking he's... gonna not move. gavin: he's still there.michael: oh my god. (gavin noises) michael: what the fuck is that?
did you hear that audio? gavin: the duck is still there. wait! are you- (screams!) michael: shut the door! (gavin spluttering) (scared exlimations) michael: that is... fucking creepy.
michael: oh shit. gavin: screw this game, dude screw this game. why are we playing this? michael: it's 3 am. gavin: check on the duck again. duck's still there. we're good. i'm really worried about that duck. oh! he's still there. he's right next to us!
michael: door's locked as shit son! fuck off! (scared gavin noises) i have no idea what this usage and shit is. gavin: are we gonna not be able to use the camera's? michael: i don't no. gavin: duck's still there. gavin: check on that room again. michael: (crying) he's still there. he's waiting for us. gavin: (crying) i don't want to leave. it's 3am.
why is it still 3am, michael? michael: what the hell is that? can you hear that? gavin: someone's going 'dop dop dop' it was creepy when he was in the party room. michael: he's still just standing there. look at his fucking cold, dead eyes. gavin: so how do you win this? do you have to just look at them all the time?
michael: you have to survive 5 nights. i don't know how you survive hopefully we'll find out when we do it. gavin: he somehow made it from 1a all the way down to 2a. michael: he hussled. gavin: he hauled ass. and now he's just waiting there for us. michael: he's just waiting. gavin: go back to that one.
yep, he's still waiting for us. i'm not opening the goddamn door. gavin: you'd be a lunatic to open the door! michael: yeah? gavin: let's check on the duck. aright. duck's still there. michael: don't you fucking move. (gavin whines) michael: i want to check this room.
so this door's still open. gavin: why? michael: because it's usage. gavin: can you only use one door? michael: i don't know. i want to keep this one closed! (gavin nervous laughs) gavin: i'm so on edge. michael: it's 4am, we almost made it.
i think you have to make it to 6am. ooooh! gavin: the duck! michael: the duck is gone! (yelling) michael: he's looking! gavin: check on the other one. he's still there. wait! check on the duck! quick!
michael: god! it's so creepy. gavin: this game is just pictures, i think. but it's so scary. wait. michael: he's not moving yet. gavin: look at that. the bear. i'm not so worried about the bear. he's not as scary as the duck. gavin: they're walking!
michael: somebody's walking! somebody's moving! the duck just killed the camera! michael: the duck just took out the camera. (gavin screams) gavin: what room is he in now? quick! michael: oh my god. oh my god. where is he? where is he? where is he? we're gonna get got. he's gone.
gavin: no. michael: they're both- what was that? gavin: where's the duck!? michael: oh shit he's there now where's the duck? gavin: find that duck. oh my god i think the duck might be in the room with us- michael: oh my god. that was me.
no we were- oh my god. gavin: the power went out. michael: we ran out of power. oh my god no. gavin: michael. michael. michael i don't want to look. michael: there's nothing we can do. we just have to wait til morning. gavin: should we just scream and try and fend them off? gavin: piss off!
michael: oh god! gavin: don't look at it! michael: i'm looking this way! oh my god no! gavin: he can't get us if we don't look. michael: it's getting louder, gavin. gavin: is that the duck or the other one? michael: no, it's the other one. oh my god.
oh god! this is it! (screams) michael: we didn't make it one night. gavin: screw this game. michael: i wonder what would happen if you just sat here. i imagine you can't do that, though. gavin: well maybe the camera would go out- it's getting fuzzy.
no it's not. it's the same level of fuzz. michael: what if one of them makes their way into this room and then builds another one? gavin: is that where we're gonna get stuffed into? michael: maybe. maybe stuffed in there. gavin: you're really hanging off the other one for a long- there we go. michael: i'm confident. there's no way. what i'm not confident about is that it's not even 2am yet and we're at 68%. can we turn off fan or something? can we affect any of this stuff?
let's see. gavin: that's two usage. that's one usage. michael: don't think we can turn the fan off. what the fuck would the light even do? does it scare them off? gavin: yeah, maybe. michael: fuck. maybe i should've hit the light. although i didn't have any power left.
ah crap. gavin: oh christ. oh balls. oh. michael: holy shit. gavin: he got out. michael: it's just so fucking creepy. i'm gonna wait this time to trigger the door a little bit. gavin: you're gonna wait to trigger the door? what do you mean?
michael: cause i won't use the power right away. i'm not gonna close the door just yet. gavin: maybe the only move once every hour? maybe that's what it is? michael: do you think the mechanical creatures use the bathrooms? do you think they go in there and shit out bolts? gavin: go 1b. alright, he's still there. michael: these are still...
gavin: (whining) we've only got 50%. we're not gonna survive, michael. michael: no, we can make it. we've got 56%. we're almost half way through the night. i think. gavin: he's moved, hasn't he? michael: oh my god. wait. is that something? is that something or no? i can't tell. gavin: i don't think so.
michael: is he getting closer? gavin: i think what's gonna happen is if it ticks over to 3, someone else would of moved. or he will move, if we're not looking at him. let's see what happens at 3. see if the duck moved. michael: duck's good. gavin: duck's good. michael: duck is good.
gavin: maybe we're doing really well? michael: i think we are. gavin: cause at 3am last time- michael: oh god! gavin: at 3am last time he was- michael: ah shit. oh shit. holy shit. (screaming)
gavin: (squeaky) should we just sit here with the lights on and hope? michael: (tense) i'm trying to save power. so i can shut the door when it comes for us. (gavin whimpering) michael: (trembling) oh my god. he just took out the camera. gavin: okay, he's in 1c then! michael: he took out all the cameras! he took out all the fucking cameras.
gavin: they're on! they're on! michael: he put them back on. where'd he go? gavin: check the duck? duck's still there. michael: where'd he go? where'd he go? oh my god. okay he's over there. gavin: he's one room away. he's two rooms away. we are draining power dude. why we using three?
michael: cause the doors closed! gavin: keep the door open! he's not in the next room yet. now check to see if he's in the next room. michael: not yet. gavin: how do you do well in this game!? michael: i don't know gavin. i don't know. gavin: the duck hasn't moved. let's just focus on this guy. the duck is far away from us. michael:it's true.
gavin: we'll just watch this prick. although if we watch him for too long the duck's gonna move. oh, he's talking. someone's talking. michael: oh my god he killed it. he killed it. gavin: shut the door! gavin: check where he is. did he go back? michael: yup, he's-
oh my god, where did he go- oh god! he's right there. gavin: is that the duck? michael: no wait. that's the duck. that's the duck. the kitchen's out. that rooms out. oh god. oh my god. i'm opening this one. gavin: why?!
michael: cause he went around the other side! gavin: did he? okay. michael: no, wait. these are out again too now. gavin: the bloody cameras are busted! (whimpers and cries) gavin: why does it use electricity to hold the door- michael: okay. i'm gonna open this one. he's on the left. he's one room away. we cannot close that.
where's the duck? gavin: where's the duck? michael: oh my god. i think the duck's coming for us. gavin: is the duck coming? michael: i think he's coming for us. gavin: donald? back off! michael: it's 4am. we have 15% left.
gavin: it's really scary not knowing where that damn duck is. gavin: are they together? michael: he's gone too gavin: where's the where are they pissing off to? they're in there! michael: there's so much noise happening. gavin: go camera 6! they're rattling around in there.
our power's going down, michael. we gotta get out of this. it's almost the morning. michael: 5am gavin: well that was a bloody interesting decision. michael: they're not over there! gavin: you're right. but we can't see one of them. get out of this. we're losing power.
gavin: what was that?! did i see him? michael: there's nothing there! alright. we got this. it's almost 6. michael: we're so close. gavin: he's right goddamn there. (gavin whimpers) michael: should i check if he's still there?
oh, we're gonna find out right now. gavin: he's not there. michael: yep. yep. he's still there. gavin: the other one was right behind him! michael: was he really? gavin: yeah! it outlined him. (whimpering) gavin: crawl under the desk. it's gonna happen again.
michael: no no no. we're so- oh my god, i can hear him. gavin: oh the music. they're gonna finger us to death- (scared noise) gavin: i don't want to look. michael: we're so close to 6am! i didn't make it one night! (music stops)
michael: oh my god! did we make it? (gavin cheers) michael: holy shit! gavin: we were about to get done. we made it. gavin: phone's ringing again. michael: can i quit? well if you're hearing this then you made it to day two. congrats.
i won't talk quiet as long this time singe freddy and his friends... michael: so we made it one day... gavin: they become more active as the week progresses. michael: there's four more days. we beat that by like four seconds. he was about to eat our fucking face. gavin: he was absolutely about to. phone guy: ...i heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though so i guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right?
i also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights there are blind spots in your camera view. gavin: oh. phone guy: ...happens to be right outside you door. gavin: oh, so the lights look phone guy: ...if you can't find something, or someone, on your cameras, be sure to check the door light. gavin: intresting. phone guy: ...you might only have a few seconds to react.
michael: so what is that for?! check the door light to see if you're about to die?! you're kind of screwed at that point! phone guy: ...also, check on the curtain in pirate cove from time to time the character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the camera's remain off for long periods of time i guess he doesn't like being watched. or i don't know. but anyway, i'm sure you have everything under control.
talk to you soon. gavin: aright. michael: i don't- michael: oh my god! oh my god! it was going the whole time! (gavin whimpering and crying) michael: i'll show you gavin. i don't know if you can see that. gavin: i don't like it.
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