Februari 14, 2017
in many sports games players can earn power-ups by performing big plays and epic moves. take, for instance, nba jam here where the ball literally catches fire engulfing the player, the net, and even the court in flames. but, come on, there's no way a flaming basketball can
actually improve the performance of our lab rats in real life, or could it? [intro music] so! we've come out here to our rooster teeth indoor athletic complexâ„¢ to test whether or not a flaming basketball can actually improve your performance. and to help us test today, we have 2 athletes of less than average ability: michael and gavin~
alright. how much basketball experience do you have? michael: aw, nothing. burnie: none. michael: yeah, hated it. burnie: okay, we have no basketball experience how about fire? - burnie: any experience with fire?- michael: aw yeah!- gavin: lots. oh, there we go! okay.
gavin: fire tornado, fire tennis, lit my head on fire... burnie: so slow mo guys is just like a fire channel, basically. gavin: yeah.burnie: okay, well, both your fire experience and your no-basketball experience actually help us today in our experiment 'cause we want to see how fire will affect your ability to play your sport. michael: so you're gonna kill us? burnie: well,
3rd degree burns, at worst. michael: that's as high as they go. burnie: well don't worry about it because you guys are going to be wearing the patented rooster teeth fire jerseys! hey guys! marcus: don't worry, these aluminum suits will protect you up to 1200â°c (2192 â°f). burnie: alright, so we're gonna talk some science for a little bit, you guys beat it. go, go practice dribbling. alright, so marcus, tell us how we're gonna light our balls on fire.
marcus: well, we experimented covering these balls in 3 different fuels: lamp oil, gasoline, and rubber cement. we found that the rubber cement sticks a lot easier to the ball. we also wrapped the balls in twine and this will help keep the flames off the rubber. our lab rats will have a good 2 minutes before the ball pops. burnie: alright, well, you ready to heat this bad boy up? marcus: let's do it.burnie: alright, let's go! whoa!
alright! it is on fire. gavin: you ever see that space man music video? michael: i've seen the fire department before. they just don't look so stupid. they don't have- it's not foil color. burnie: michael and gavin now have to wear these fireproof suits. they don't exactly flatter them, but they will keep them safe- -ish. michael: oh, it's going on. okay. agh!
your nose doesn't really fit. burnie: hello everyone and welcome to the 2016 nba jam immersion exhibition! i'm burnie burns and with me is tyler coe. tyler, this looks to be an exciting match up. tyler: that's right burnie. weighing in at 118 pounds (53.52 kg) at 5'7" (170 cm) gavin free has little to no athletic ability. however, his confidence is through the roof.
burnie: and his opponent today, michael jones is a tough competitor and i can only think that his upbringing in new jersey will be a huge advantage for him today. okay, in our control round we had each of the lab rats take 10 shots from the free throw line. michael jones scored 2 out of 10 shots [both cheering] michael: i won basketball! burnie: and gavin free scored a measly 1 out of 10
so clearly we are not dealing with the best athletes here. let's see how the fire helps their game. gavin: wooh. it's hot. that's some hot ball. michael: alright gav, you think we'll do better? gavin: no. burnie: okay. not a confident prediction from free.
michael: fuck! tyler: hey burnie, there's a "free throw" pun in here, right? burnie: there's gotta be. gavin: oh! that was way worse. [michael grunts] michael: damn it! gavin: come on! burnie: i knew this experiment involved real fire,
burnie: but even still, this does not look easymichael: fire fire fire! oh you almost got it! gavin: huh, huh! hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! burnie: boom shaka laka! tyler: he's heating up! gavin: oh my god. alright, here we go! michael: holy shit, that ball is on fire dude! jesus christ!
michael: oh your head's on fire! your head's on fire.safety personnel: hey gav, hold on. michael: your whole body's on fire.sp: let's get the fire off of gavin [gavin giggling under his breath] burnie: back of his head's on fire. you okay, gav? thumbs up? thumbs up. michael: dude, you went up. gavin: that one was chaos! *laughs*
burnie: okay, well our fire technicians have safely put out the fire and we have a thumb's up from gavin, so let's continue. gavin: alright, this is it. heyoooooo~ ohhhhh!! michael: you made it?!gavin: did you see it?! michael: ohp, it missed.
gavin: do it! ohh! tyler: razzle dazzle. tyler: gavin seems to be on a roll here!gavin: oh ho ho! gavin: ohhh!burnie: alright, now if gavin makes his last shot here he will get 50% of his free throws. michael: do it, boi! michael and gavin: ohhh!!!!burnie: and he did it! unbelievable! tyler, i have never been so excited about a 50% free throw ratio in my life!
this is what it's like to be a shaq fan all year long. well, michael had the lead in the control round, but gavin dominates the fire test with 5 successful free throws. alright, next up we have the dribbling portion of our competition today. in this, each of the lab rats has to dribble down court and perform a layup. tyler: that's right burnie. and the first one to score wins. burnie: here's how they did in the control round. gavin: arghh.michael: ack. michael: you hit me, you hit me. miss, miss!
oh fuck you. burnie: alright, obviously didn't do that great. hopefully the fire will make them faster and more graceful. tyler: i wouldn't count on it but let's find out because things are starting to heat up. burnie: i just got that. aaaand, here they go. from here it seems it is much more difficult burnie: to control the ball with the fire suitsgavin: oh! and they weren't that great to begin with.
gavin: huuaah. oh, watch out! michael: aghhh. burnie: he's on fire! no, lite- literally. gavin: my hand won't stop being on fire!!burnie: he's on fire.michael: high five! wooahh! wooo. burnie: alright, though gavin was able to score first during the control round, michael quickly caught up during the fire test, but,
gavin still has a commanding lead in total points. tyler: looks like things are heating up! how 'bout we move on to some one-on-one action. michael and gavin will go head to head balls out against each other. most points at the end of regulation wins. burnie: now, initially, our plan was to have the first person to score 3 points but our statisticians told us that would take, quote, "for-fucking-ever". alright, they've heated up.
the ball is on fire. [gavin giggling] that is a miserable demonstration of dribbling. gavin: ah, i'm coming for you, bitch! oh, he's gone around! burnie: oop, gavin with a shot! aaand a wide miss. tyler: juuust a bit outside. burnie: op, michael with the chance for a point here!
burnie: nope! tyler: that is just one of the worst shots i've ever seen in my entire life. burnie: well the suit may protect them from high temperatures but it's certainly not helping them stay on their feet. burnie: well i think this resembles a wrestling match a lot more than a basket ball game. what do you say tyler? tyler: the bigger the bigger the love, the bigger the shove. burnie: and the ball now lands on gavin but he takes a shot anyway. tyler: time is running out they better make a move.
michael sets up with a shot. burnie: gavin with a huge rejection! gavin: oh shit, ohohh! burnie: all right we're halfway through regulation during the one on one portion. and the score is a solid zero - zero with no signs of improving any time soon. alright, now here we are at half time during the one-on-one portion michael, gavin, how are you guys feeling today gavin: have yet to score.
michael: i'm feeling good, it's neck and neck! burnie: yeah! zero to zero. alright, for the second half of this competition one of our scientists, marcus will be lowering the height of the goal significantly it's not because you're bad, although that's one of the reasons, but also just to make a more competitive environment. michael: yeah, we're just so evenly matched
the game will never end at this point it, it -- it throws a new modifier in. it's -- it all makes sense. burnie: you guys are saying what absolutely nobody is thinking, so thank you. eloquent as always. gentlemen, good luck in the second half. be safe out there! all right, as we begin the second half here,
with the lowered goal, this should help them significantly in their performance. tyler: should, burnie. should. burnie: well, it helps ten-year-olds. michael: fuck! burnie: you know, tyler, one of the more difficult things as an announcer is trying to come up with lots of different ways to say 'he didn't make that shot'. tyler: that's true, burnie, gavin: whoo!
tyler: because you need to know multiple languages to do so. burnie: we're now into swahili territory. gavin: fuck! burnie: okay! gavin's got the ball, he's at half court. tyler: from downtown! burnie: what a miss! this ball is even more on fire than the others. gavin: oof! the ball!burnie: it's gavin with an amazing move through michael's legs.
tyler: but can he capitalize on it, burnie? gavin: [heavy breathing]burnie: the answer -- a resounding no. burnie: those suits have to be hotter than the ball. tyler: michael heads for the basket. burnie: gavin leaps for the block-- tyler: and the doctor just told him to turn his head and cough! burnie: gotta love 'im! he always goes hard to the hole, and you never know what he's gonna do with it once he's down there.
tyler: uh-oh! gavin's playin' dirty. michael and gavin: [indecipherable shouting]burnie: well you know, that's actually a legal move in nba jam. burnie: okay! time is running out. someone better make a shot. tyler: michael's got a chance here can he do it? [buzzer sounds]michael: [cheers] yes! yes! burnie: right at the buzzer! michael jones with our one and only score.
gavin: damn it! michael: that's it! that's the greatest point ever in nba history. gavin: shoe's on fire. michael: my lungs are on fire, my shoe's on fire, my skins was on fire! burnie: well, you guys did not make that look easy. in fact, you made it look extraordinarily difficult.
michael: you set us on fire. burnie: well, walk me through that! did the fire help you, did it not help you? michael: no, it hurt. it was hot! burnie: well, gavin, you went from one out of ten free throws to five out of ten. it seems like it helped you in some way. gavin: it absolutely helped me! the adrenaline of having both hands on fire and a flaming basketball.
laser-focused on that rim. michael: i thought you did great on the free throws. sorry i kicked the shit out of you in the head-to-head. gavin: who's the winner? burnie: so, we do have to appoint a winner of science, and michael, i know you won the one-on-one competition, but i feel like i have to give it to gavin,gavin: oh! burnie: 'cause he proved the concept of being on fire!gavin: he's generous!michael: yeah, he has to. burnie: he went from one out of ten to five out of ten!
michael: and then he lost right after that! so clearly the fire didn't help you, you blue bitch. burnie: well, congratulations for surviving and only being a little bit singed, but we want to find out how you guys play together as a team. so we're just gonna input a little code for our first members here, that will unlock two new players to join the game. michael and gavin, please welcome:
jack and geoff! you don't look excited! not happy? michael: you're gonna -- you're gonna fucking die in this thing. you're gonna drop dead! on the floor! geoff: which one of you wants first shift at the glory hole? michael: me? burnie: all right! well, if you want to watch this lovely reunion of old friends as they battle it out on the court,
just head on over to roosterteeth.com and join our first members program. burnie: thanks for watching! burnie: hey, everybody! thanks as always for supporting immersion and watching the show. if you enjoyed it, come on over to roosterteeth.com, where we have special episodes of the show.
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