Februari 16, 2017
let me tell you there are some times in life when you fall down and you feel like you don't have thestrength to get back up there comes a time when the blank the blankness of future is so extreme to such a black wall of nothingness not even of bad things it's not like there is a cave full of monstersthat you are afraid of entering in the future
it is just nothingness "le nã©ant" as the french would say here "la vide", the void, the emptiness and it is, just horrible it is horrible to contemplate,a future-less future if that isn't too impossible um, so you just want to to step out of it, to step out of the whole race, the whole business
the monstrosity of being alive overwhelms you i thought what kind of purpose do i have to live i mean, do you, are you just here to live to die i mean is there not a purpose for me?is there not a purpose in life i had questions and no answers and i asked my mom and dad, why did this happen ? and i asked doctors why did this happen and they don't know
there are some things in life that are out of your control that you can't change and you've got to live with the choice that we have though is either to give up or keep on going the very first thing i want to offer you is empathy i understand that the feeling is real this idea that you want to just do an end
put an end to the entire game of life so beyond my empathy, and my care for you my heart going out to you i want to offer you this that there is a law there is a law in nature which is that of seasons, right ?
in a winter time it's cold, right ? freezing f***ing cold in the winter time especially if you live in, like, the north and it could be so cold that you are miserable if a man was so cold and miserable that he decided that perhaps i should kill myself because this freezing cold misery is not worth living in someone might offer him the idea that, or remind him of a law that dude, this is, you have got may be another six weeks, you've got maybe another eight weeks
and then spring is coming, man and it is just the way it is things cycle through, it is just a season right now i understand it is freezing f***ing cold and you feel horrible and you feel pretty bad about the situation but hang in there 70% of illnesses on the planet, all kinds, are self created
you are able to generate substantial amount of intense emotions and thoughts but in the wrong direction you are generating thoughts and emotions which work against you not for you you think it's your right to throw tantrums you think it is your right to get angry with people you think it is your privilege to be depressed so that you'll get attention from somebody
you keep playing this one day you will not be able to turn back how did i get from depressed to who i am today because i tell you i was depressed when i was age 8 i used to concentrate on the things i didn't have i wish i've had arms and legs and i wish i could do this but what can i do? you see i have a choice, that's what i want to talk about today, choice i can either be angry for not having arms and legsor be thankful for my chicken drumstick
you see, i can still do a lot of things. at home i can brush my teeth, comb my hair get myself ready in the morningand i'm travelling around the world...it's amazing! happiness is a choice. that is what i want to live my life by you can't always be happy, listen, i know i'm not crazy i realise the realism in not being happy sometime you have to put up with some crap in your life but if you are always striving to choose happiness everyday you wake up and you say to yourself
you know what...i'm going to choose to not letthe outside influences of the world affect my mood i'm going to be in charge of how i feelbecause i am going to choose happiness. i promise you you will live a lot happierlife and at least you can try to right? you just have to set the necessary conditions for health necessary incentives for health both for yourself and your children, if you have them do not set incentives for sickness i've felt depressed i've felt miserable
i've felt at times where it may be better to take my life but with the wisdom that i havegathered in my 33 short years of life i've come to realise that it's just a feeling and in the same way that feeling cold isdiminished, the misery of feeling cold is diminished by the insight that spring will come is the same feeling that you should acknowledge the same law that you should acknowledge that no matter how miserable things are right now it is just a season, it's going to pass
the thing that keeps one living is a sense of future that there will be a tomorrow and tomorrow i've got to do this and the day after i've got to do that not that any of these things have a particular logical purpose or a convincing reason to exist but they somehow keep one going in the words of dorothy parkera great wit and writer and poet "you might as well live"
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