Januari 26, 2017
english subs by fã¡bio limatwitter: @fabiopl lambda, lambda, lambda, nerds!welcome to the witcher 3 nerdplayer! can you believe this? the game wasn't even released yet,and it's here, on nerdplayer. we were invited by the guysat cd projekt red to go to poland,where their studio is located, to visit the studio and play the witcher 3before everyone else. it was a very cool eventdedicated to youtubers.
it was very nice of themto embrace the scene. we were one of the few channelsin the world to be invitedto play the game and show youthis gameplay footage first-hand. it's such an honor for nerdplayer!awesome! when i left,i was in love with the series. i had only played someof the second game. i knew little about the series,but i fell in love with it. the new open-world systemis crazy cool.
when i came back to brazil, i was dying to play it,but it hasn't been released yet. only at the studio. check it out,right after our... absurdly shameless plug while the witcher 3isn't available, let's take a look atdead or alive 5: last round. that's right,ladies and gentlemen. it's the 20th game in the franchise.that's a lot of games.
since 1996,almost 20 years ago. the game has sold3 million copies worldwide. there are a hell of a lotof playable characters. it has the 32 charactersof the ultimate edition, plus fourfrom the virtua fighter series and two new characters: raidou, dead or alive'smain boss, and a new female character,honoka. well, it's japan.
there's the explanation for that:japan. there aremore than 300 costumes, for those who like changingcharacters' clothes, customize your fightersjust the way you like them. more than 300different costumes. it's from the same guyswho made ninja gaiden. they brought to consolesa very nice feature: the game runs in 1080pand 60fps. that's rare for consoles.very good.
dead or alive 5: last round. buy it from the link below. now, let's enter the worldof the witcher. i can't take it anymore!i wanna play it! i wanna play it! very well, azaghal!it's the witcher 3! what a thrill! this is our first gameplay videorecorded outside of brazil. and beforethe game's release, even! there's geralt,relaxing in his tub. oh hey, no, man!what the hell!
it's the crab's revenge. hey, man, no! he seems to have enjoyed it! so, geralt is a witcher. he's a monster hunter who's been altered with alchemy,training and whatnot. he hunts monsters.that's his thing. he's been cut out for that. he was born to do it.
and he's polish. the game is basedon a polish fantasy book series. the series was a huge hitin the 80's and 90's. and the games were also hits. there it is, the monster! -"we going?" of course!-otherwise, there would be no game. there he is,with his two swords. one for slaying people,the other, for monsters. look at that!
wow, what the hell? -he sent the horse away!-yeah, go! man, that was wicked. the monster is bleeding! he took a hit. bleeding or pooping? no, it was bleedingfrom geralt's blow. it got the horse. what the fuck?it got the horse!
remember that videowith the eagle that got a baby? people were so shockedwith that! -oh, he's hit!-it's a gladiator wound. -a russell crowe wound.-he even looks like him. he just lookedwhile the horse was eaten? is that ringo starr? he's a cross between ringoand moe from the three stooges. that's ringo starrwho was dying. that's an rpg adventure.the peasant's name's ringo.
that's a beautiful village. a beautiful sunsetat the village. you don't even mindthe smell of manur. that's the leastof the problems. you're the only oneto take a bath in that region in a century. oh look, geese. look what i'm going to do now. help! help!
there it is! would you liketo test my mace? it works! what the hell?! it's just a hen, mister! just a fucking hen! i'll kill all the hensin the town! this has to be triedin every game. let's see what happens.
who do you think you are? take this! a woman saw me and ran away.take this, hen! now what? no one came to kill me!i fucking love this game already. look at him.it's all nice and good! someone kills a hen and it's fine.that's reality. you don't send the entire town's armyto kill a guy who killed a hen. people got hungryin the middle ages.
here, take this! hen slayer great, witcher! people get shocked,but this is reality. you see a guy killing a hen,you respect him. respect him, alright? goose! no, no, no, no, no!don't even think about it! slay the goose!
hen slayerbeautiful, azaghal! you deserve a reward. geralt,slayer of hens and geese. -what is that place?-a tavern. where adventures begin. i'll usemy jedi witcher power. see? it's the axii sign. obi-wan in your face. there it is.
he's snitching me!shut the hell up! shaddap! that's right, you better sit down!i'm the freakin' witcher! get outta here, man! no. you're the guywho controls the witcher. you're not actuallythe witcher. i'm roleplaying! here, i'm a bully! i won't hit you againjust because my granny's nickname
was monster huntress. this is every nerd's dream. look, some bullies. -oh, man. now, things are...-it's the joker. -the joker?-check out his tattoos. check it out! jedi power! obi-wan in your face! -look at that!-take that! fuck, it only worked on one.
i'll have to fight the others. that's a fight, man! you wanna get hit in the face? holy shit! that's right, bro! there's the other one. he was bummedby the jedi mind trick. now i have a side quest.i just love side quests. sometimes i just keep takingside quests.
i like roleplayingthe everyday life in that universe. you don't have a lotto look forward to, do you? he's the village dwarf. they burned downhis workshop. i'll find the one responsiblefor that. that's my witcher view. i can use itto see his footprints. what the hell was that? was that a cosplayer?
was she wearingone of those anime hats? what? again? my mindwas just reconfigured. his footprints lead here. excuse me. ew, gross! -what?-snot! stay away from me! that's so disgusting!
she has a stuffy nose. what a strange way to clean the floor!gross. there's a guy. you wanna hit me?jedi in your face! screw you, bro! that's so gross! -let her clean the house!-damn, man... i've seen you clean your glasses.it's not too different from that. -what about my glasses?-you clean them with your breath!
your breath cotains spit.it's the same. your breath has spit in it. he snitched himto the soldier. they'll just kill himstraight away! holy shit, man! look, sarcasm! "villagers'll reallylove you, now". fuck them nice one, dwarf!
an animal! it's a wolf. leave it to me, sir!i am a monster hunter! they killed it. another wolf! get the wolf! -where?-there, goddamit! but they havethose giant axe things. they've already killed it.
i didn't get to do anything! your help is not needed. but i am a monster hunter! what the hell?a wolf is not a monster! let's hunt a monster,azaghal. -it's the monster!-the monster, y'all! it's coming, it's coming! it fell into our trap! russell crowealso has two swords.
that's becausehe's also a witcher. let's go, the two of us! a crossbow.more like cross-dull. -you got an idiot.-you're so dull! cross-dull. could be the nameof a dumb politician... there's a griffon.peter griffin? -what's with the sheep?-that's the bait. let's go now,it's two against one! shit!
let's get'em, azaghal! good one!your face is on fire now! -you did that?-of course, man! easy, easy, easy... hold it, hold it. wait.i have to think this through. hit and run. why are you killingthat wonderful creature? those wonderful griffons!24200:12:31,895 --> 00:12:35,052it's a monster,and i'm a monster hunter!
it flew away!i'll get my cross-dull. it hit russell croweright in the face! let's go, man. take it easy, okay? don't rush it. take that, you monster! in your face! he got russell crowe! -get out!-shoot!
shoot! it's coming from the front!take that! holy shit, azaghal!take that, monster! i'd really like to knowwhy you're hunting it. what the helldid it do to you? it's a monsterthat kills people! it kills people?or sheep? i remember it killinga horse. that horsebelonged to someone.
it flew away! the horsebelongs to nature. it's the colossi thingall over again. shut up! the colossiare minding their own business. and some dudegoes and kills them. they're not doinganything wrong! they're just sleeping. -shut up!-but it's true!
let's chase him. the griffonis a wonderful creature. it probably belongsto hagrid. there it is!come to me, peter griffin! go, griffon! no, no, no, no! the other side! help!i'm gonna die! i'm gonna die! way to go, creature!
son of a bitch! take this, and this, and this! it's dying! you take such a pleasurein doing this! -i was born to do this!-what, kill exotic animals? you're like kraven,from spider-man. i landed a hit, azaghal!a hit! take that!victory is mine! that's outrageous.
now lay down beside itand take a picture. like that womanwith the giraffe. griffon -that's the sword.-ak-47. silver.fit for slaying monsters. perfect for combat. and this is the normal one,for slaying people. why not use only one? you're like those peoplewho have two cell phones.
one is for workand the other is private. you think i should usea sword with two sim cards? one for monstersand one for people? jump, horse! i'm not usedto the controls yet. that swordis for hitting the horse. this is so cool!go, go! he moved aside!son of a bitch! you missed it!
nice! now he's bathed in blood! horse, horse! -my god!-go get'em! aren't you the hunter? calm down. where's your monster sword? it's telling me to flee!flee, my ass! a fast cut.tramontina, the best knives. that's more like it!
flee, my ass! -there are more monsters ahead.-really? there's three of them. trample over themwith the horse! now, now, now, you! he's drowning in the armor! stop attacking my horse! cut it open! -thanks, cd projekt red!-you're kicking the corpse!
there's a horse's fear gauge. yes, there is.shoot, i missed it! horse! come on, roach.papa roach. -what's papa roach?-it's a band. a band? i knew i'd heardthat name somewhere. -papa roach. is it any good?-never heard them. -i'm not into reggae.-it's reggae? it's a reggae band's name.
you thinkit's not a respectable name? for a heavy metal band? it should be more like,papa snake. you think the namecan't be ridiculous? something like white papa.or papa white. or white roach. it would be much cooler.whitesnake is a cool name. -whitesnake, okay.-got it? even if the band sucks.
so there must bea cooler name, and the other onecould be like whatever? it's gotta have a cool name.snakes are cool. it's evil. whitesnakesare rare animals. get it? what's a "papa"? in portuguese, it's eithera pontiff or a mush. and what's a roach? a cockroach.
-oh, really?-yeah! so it's a cockroach mush! -i don't know.-or a bash at catholicism. catholicism? over here, over here. galloping through the town. hey, that guy is drunkout of his mind! it's not even darkand he's already like that. dude...
well, it's the endof the afternoon. he's pretending now. he's faking it. he turned left.let's see where he's going. -let's see what he's up to.-you're following him?! i like to follow... what?! are yousome kind of stalker? no! i'm always curious to seewhere npc's go and what they do. whoa, man!
she's walking aroundin her undies. come here, let's talk. "do you sellgolden shower jewelry?" this is where he's going? he's hiding from you,you stalker! where the hell is he going? i'd like to follow him,like in gta. to see if he goes to work,and then home... you followed that topless girl.she ran away and was hit by a car.
i'd like to seewhere she's going. what?! she's topless! i can't believe it! -check that out!-holy mother of christ! i think he'll justwalk around town in circles. come on! do something! you know we only havea few minutes in this room, right? don't spend themfollowing an npc!
-he called me "freak".-that's being nice. sunflowers. how nice! but they're facingthe wrong direction. -those sunflowers are broken.-why? they should be facingthe sun! they face the sun?that's not possible. -they face the sun.-it does that all day long? -what the hell are you saying?-are you sure? it's as the name says.
it follows the sun. maybe it does thatduring a specific season? no. but that one over thereis correct. -they don't do it every day.-sunflower. it's not possible for a flowerto do a 180 degree turn every day. -of course it does!-that can't be true. it's in the sunflower's nature. and that plant that closeswhen you touch it? -yes, but...-sunflowers are the same.
i'd have to see it. what? you doubt nature now? i think it's a seasonal thing. so it rains and, afterwards,there's a rainbow. do you doubt that too? let's killthe ghost in the well. that horse gets tired fast. -it's fine.-great. shit. not everyonehas a slim waist.
horses have wide hips. there's somethinghanging there. it's a woman. it's a woman! it's a woman! catch the woman! -it's her.-she hung herself. or someone hung her. -we'll find out.-i hope she didn't drink that water. see? he's doing some csi.
"wide pelvis".i thought he'd said "wild pelvis". that'd not be a very nice thingto say about her. only one personhas a wild pelvis. sex machine. -don't forget elvis, the pelvis.-elvis, the pelvis! that reminds me of that moviewith the kidnapped kids and the teacher. wow. you remember that? that movie still haunts me. that scenewhen they're stuck in a cave.
and then, all of the kidshave to be in their undies. that must have beenreally embarrassing. -do you know what i'm saying?-no. it was a crazy class.there were kindergarten kids as well as college students.something like that. of all scenes from the movie,that was the one that got me freaked out. god, what a terrible situation! the fact is, they were being chasedby serial killers wearing rubber rat masksor something.
they were youtubers! they were kidnappedby masked youtubers! there was rubber rat,happy, grumpy... -grumpy!-crazy bastards! -i'm gonna die!-there's the drama! besides the embarrassment,there's the lack of oxygen! what a situation! breathless, embarrassed,and chased by serial killers. it's an agonizing movie!
now i've found your weak spot! girl, your time here is over. i'll burn everythingthat'd keeping her here. -here we go.-it's a spirit! now we're screwed. it's that statue outside! oh, right! it's as the proverb says:"the tongue is the body's whip". what the fuckare you talking about?
go french-kiss the ghost! that's what that spirit wants! oh god! he did say the womanhad a wide pelvis. no, a white pelvis. white pelvis?! he said "white"...or was it "wide"? oh right, he said "wide". "white pelvis"?!what the hell is that?
-i don't know!-what did you think it was? -"white pelvis"!-i don't know, man. you're taking a beating!draw the sword, dammit! how could her mouthhold such a huge tongue? her teeth would beall crooked. easy does it. i can't do anything! -i need to switch swords.-where's your spirit sword? finally i can do hersome damage.
-roll and stab.-what? roll and stab herin the back. now you're gonna get hurt! it goes right through me! in rpg's, ghostsmakes you old. oh, i can tell. he's taken one too many ghoststo the face. his bodyis just like his face. i'm gonna die for sure.
you need to go to the corpse. exorcise her."this body does not belong to thee." come, come, come. come here, monster! now, magic shield! no, protective trap. -now, come here!-there's a green flame over there. so, what did you do? it's more vulnerable now.
she fled again! there she is! -fuck, no!-take that, jovem nerd! i'm outta here!don't wanna! get on the horse! bye!that mystery is unsolvable! fuck it.let him run. run like a faggot. every two hourscan't put it off
a monster eats for oneand works out for two at the beach, we shinethe girls look amazed let's have a datei'm ready for anything my legs are huge
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