Januari 14, 2017
burnie: video game developers spend a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of money making sure that their games are realistic, especially in racing simulations. they precisely model cars and map racetracks so that they're pixel-perfect duplicates of the real thing, like this kia forte here driving around on a digital raceway. but come on - just because you could race a realistic car on a realistic track inside of a realistic video game, that doesn't mean you could race the real car in real life... ... or does it? [static] [immersion intro music]
burnie: so, today we've come out to our rooster teeth test track to run one of our little experiments; we're gonna be finding out if a person racing in a video game can beat their real-life equivalent racing on the same track using the same vehicle. and this year on immersion, we have two fresh-faced lab rats: michael and gavin. how you guys doing today? michael/gavin: feel great.burnie: guess what - don't care. burnie: are you guys ready to do a little bit of racing today? michael: hell yeah!gavin: take a look at what we're wearing! gavin: we look good!burnie: yeah - you guys look good!
gavin: i feel like an astronaut. burnie: is that your first time wearing a cup?gavin: yeah... burnie: stress test - there we go - good.alright, the question is: can you guys drive?gavin, how about you - good driver? gavin: excellent... i don't have a license.burnie: you don't have a driver's license in america? gavin: yeah... or any other country on planet earth.michael: (laughing) burnie: okay, because i want this to be a real race - and i don't trust either of them with the car that we have today, i decided to bring in... professional championship racecar driver, mr. terry earwood...
terry is going to be driving our brand-new 2014 forte provided to us by kia motors america. burnie: how long have you been a professional racecar driver? terry: well - since the earth was cooling.burnie: okay, good - so you've seen a lot of races... how about these two idiots - think you can take 'em in a race today? terry: i don't know, they're - they're pretty well dressed for the occasion... burnie: oh, well, appearances can be deceiving...alright, morons, come on - let's go. burnie: okay - gavin, michael? you're gonna be racing as a team against terry. the two of you will be driving a digital forte in our virtual racing simulator here, as demonstrated by barb, and terry will be driving the kia in real life.
burnie: sound good?gavin: no... burnie: there you go - that's the spirit - alright, let's put your helmets on and let's get to work! gavin: why do we need helmets if we're gonna be sat in that - gavin: this... weird contraption?michael: barbara's not wearing a helmet. burnie: oh, did i forget to mention that part of it?michael: yeah, you forgot. burnie: sorry about that, michael - we're gonna have you out on the track with terry. michael: ... like, standing, or-burnie: no - ahh - what we've done is set up your simulator in the passenger seat of the kia.that way, you can play your game in comfort and style at speeds that approach a hundred miles an hour.
michael: that doesn't sound comfortable -burnie: that sounds like a ton of fun. burnie: gus, why don't you show us how we set up the car? gus: so the challenge was: creating a gaming environment that can survive... - gus: - whipping around this track.burnie: right, sounds hard... gus: so, what we did here is we triple-suction-cup-mounted this display to the windshield. burnie: alright...gus: so it should be safe unless they crash. burnie: (chuckling) okay, good.gus: then, we went ahead and took the steering wheel and mounted it to this custom mount here to really complete the immersion experience. gus: it'll be just like they're driving on the actual course.burnie: okay, which probably will scare the hell outta
burnie: them, i think.gus: or - it'll make them vomit. gus: lastly, we got the console tucked away securely in the back there so it doesn't bounce around. burnie: awesome - okay, here's the way this is gonna work: terry and the lab rats are both driving on the same track in the same car. the difference is: the lab rats are driving the virtual one in the video game while terry drives the one in real life. the first team to complete three laps on their track wins the race. we're gonna start off with gavin driving and michael in the back seat. each lap: they're gonna stop and swap.now - just like in a real race: michael and gavin are also gonna fuel up every time they stop - which is why we have out here...
cheese puffs and... milk. kind of like a gamer fuel. gus: why milk, though?burnie: oh well, gus, as everybody knows the winner of the indianapolis 500 - they drink milk to celebrate. gus: so - you're forcing them to drink milk.burnie: uh, yes - well come on, they're growing boys, they - they need their milk, they'll be fine. burnie: gus, car ready?gus: it's ready. burnie: alright, let's get our lab rats.let's do this... [engine startup] burnie: alright, let's check in on the guys - i asked them to call me on the in-car uvo system...
burnie: hey guys - we're all good to go out here, good luck. burnie: oh gavin, one last thing: i am legally obligated to tell you that we don't have socialized healthcare in this country. [fun chase music cues in] michael: (laughing heartily)o-holy crap... terry: i'm gonna do a little warm-up here in pit-lane, get some heat up in the tires ... gavin: woah-woah-woah---michael: (laughing) oho-ho my god... gavin: oh i'm doing it in the game - i'm doing it in the game!why am i - shulol woha lawahaaa-haa michael: gavin - gavin, you're in the dirt!gavin: where's the dirt - there it is.
michael: get out of the grass, man!gavin: ffffwooooh gavin: (panicked) i'm over there! i'm (inaudible)michael: stop turning (inaudible) headrest! gavin: gwoooo -michael: oh my god! gavin: there's fluid leaving my body from most orifices -michael: (laughing) gavin: good grief!michael: jee-sus... gavin: are we on the - we are on the track! uh there goes the track! (laughing) michael: where are you, gavin? gavin: (laughter) this is better - this is better. i'm finally michael: there you go! you got this, straightaway - (inaudible)gavin: i'm fine when i'm going straight.
michael: - sharp turn, i'm just bracing myself. gavin: (laughter) ooohh god!michael: jesus, man. michael: get your head in the front seat, gavin, michael: not in the back.gavin: how fast are we going? terry: we're gonna get up to about a hundred and ten here in a minute. gavin: oh - guah - (laughter)michael: you bashed your head in the window! burnie: terry is really taking those turns fast...gus: damn, it seems to really be affecting gavin's gus: head for some reason...burnie: (laughter) michael: i feel like i'm getting sucked out of the door.gavin: i - cah -
gavin: where's the - tchh -michael: you keep bashing your head in the window! gavin: i'm gonna knock out terry in a minute... burnie: okay, the lab rats have not finished their first lap but terry has, that means they're headed into the pits where our pit crew's gonna give them cheese puffs and milk to fuel up. gavin: oh... oh- oh-oh---michael: hoooooh... i think i'm gonna puke, jesus... lindsay: let's go!unlocking, unlocking! michael: alright, jesus!lindsay: get out! michael: we're gonna drink milk?!lindsay: yeah - absolutely - who goes first? michael: (muffled) aaaow! ow!lindsay: one more... one more!
gavin: milk!barbara: how you feeling? gavin: great!barbara: open uuup... there you go! lindsay: any more? jesus.barbara: how does that taste? lindsay: don't chug - come on, save some for later.barbara: let's wash it down with some of these. gavin: i don't - (coughing)michael: alright - michael/lindsay/barbara: get back in - this is a pit stop!gavin: (laughter) lindsay: what the hell are you doing?michael: god! ah! ahh! michael: yeah - okay, here we go...gavin: five minutes le- (gagging) michael: dude - grab one of those bags gavin, that milk does not feel good inside me right now.
michael: you're gonna puke in the back seat... gavin: (monstrous growl)michael: ohh my god, michael: it's so disorienting when - uh wo - when he's turning and i'm not! burnie: he's looking pretty good... he's... steering like a... 14 year-old driver - oh - there he goes burnie: he's losing it.michael: i'm in the - i'm in the sand... gus: and he's off the track...michael: where am i going? burnie: it's like uh, some kind of uhhh, sidetrack...gus: (laughing) he's going the wrong way! burnie: (laughter) did he go in - he went backwards? burnie: alright so now, michael is going the wrong way on the track.
gavin: (sickly) bollocks... balls...michael: that milk is not sitting good inside me... gavin: (sickly) i mean, why - why milk? it's a hot day -michael: milk and cheetos! gavin: there's no - (coughing)michael: ohhh we're hitting a wall... we're hitting a wall... michael: we're hitting a wall... terry: alright, there's our hundred and ten... michael: this is, like, worse than the worst roller coaster... michael: gavin's gonna puke. michael: ohoo - there goes the traffic cone... there goes the cone... we lost the cone, terry. terry: we're headed back to the pit, hang on, hang on...michael: are you alright?
michael: do we have to drink more milk? gavin: i don't wanna drink any more milk.michael: i'm gonna - i'm gonna throw up if we have to michael: - drink more milk.gavin: (retching) michael: oh god...gavin: (groans violently) michael: (long disgusted groan) (short groan)gavin: bugger me... michael: hang on - i'm stopping, i'm stopping...gavin: (retching) gavin: bag of - stand by -lindsay: ugh... gavin: argwr...michael: (winded) oh, god.. barbara: you hardly had anything last time.gavin: (cough/retch/near-death noise)
lindsay: what are you doing - here, eat... eat... if you don't want anymore, milk? good. no more? no more? barbara: there you go... oh yeah. right in the mouth.lindsay: chug it. c'mon, it'll make you strong, make you strong! barbara: come on, you can do it -michael: what are you doing?! gavin: (violent retching)michael: get in the car! gavin: i- do -do- (inaudible)michael: get in the car! get in the car!!! gavin: goh!lindsay: see ya, terry! gavin: that is milky, that's great calcium... (belch)lindsay: stay hydrated! gavin: you parked me sideways, michael!michael: alright - you're fine - look, there you go. gavin: the - eeeuugh...michael: gavin? ...
gavin: (long violent retch) burnie: oh...gus: gavin's not looking good... burnie: yeah - this should be another test if we could do about... can nauseous people drive a car... gus: michael's trying to help him out he's giving him a bag... oh - gus: look at his eyes!burnie: oh (laughing) his eyes are all - (laughter) burnie: (inaudible) - and his head. gavin: (retching)michael: ga- i- i- i- i'm getting sick yelling at you michael: - because i'm gonna throw up while i'm talking.burnie: (serious) oh my god, he looks awful. michael: if you thr-up - i'm gonna throw up, i'm losing it...
gus: i hope gavin has a plastic bag handy... gavin: cheers, terry.michael: (vomiting) michael: (sickly) i puked a little... burnie: ohh - he's throwing up - (disgusted) ohhh!michael: (vomiting) gavin: is - is that real? oooh-haaahaah- he threw up!(cough) gavin: i flipped upside down! gavin: my car is upside down! (laughter)michael: (vomiting) gavin: terry -... terry, we're upside down - i'm wiggling it to get it back - (heavy cough) michael: (violently vomiting)
gus: i think through some accident, gavin's going the correct way on the track now... burnie: before, they we're backtracking across all their progress, and now gavin, by screwing up, has somehow put 'em back on the right pathway. gus: they might actually finish a lap. gavin: you ever drink milk and cheetos is that - (cough)michael: (still vomiting) terry: oh hell no. gavin: cheeto! eat that, micool, it'll make you feel better.michael: (whimpering) oh i... i threw up on the suit a little... gavin: i don't know what my brain is trying to focus on...michael: (long heave) gavin: just... the game - (retch)michael: uuuuugh it's too much milk...
michael: i'm lactose-intolerant...gavin: saaand! gavin: saa- uuhh - ow my head's out the window again! michael: you're pretty calm about this, terry... i'm just gonna die back here. michael: tell my family i hate them... michael: tell lindsay that she was okay...it was a good run but... michael: i don't wanna leave her anything... michael: i don't wanna leave her anything - i want everything to be buried with me... michael: let's get this milk in the shot here, ready?this is what came out of me. michael: look at this!gavin: (disgusted) ooh he's got a bag of - (retching)
michael: gavin... just focus...gavin: put that bag of vomit away, micool. michael: where do you want me to put it?gavin... look... look! gavin: (retching) michael: you hit a wall.gavin: i went upside-down again... michael: i'm gonna throw up again...gavin: the vomit - it's always the vomit back there that... michael: i'm gonna throw up again... i'm gonna throw up again... michael: ohhhh god...gavin: a bit of air... that's - that's good... gavin: the bag - wait - we lost the bag! michael: you threw it out the window!
burnie: and we're done! alright, let's go see how they did... michael: hooohhhh...gavin: go ahead and unbuckle... barbara: whoo!terry: you can get out now, kiddo. michael: (distressed) aiii-it's locked - terry! i can't get out! gavin: ohhh...michael: here's my vomit bag! michael: oh - (laughs at gavin heartily) michael: gavin - look! look at my vomit - look at it! gavin: (distant) (retching)michael: (retching) terry: i owe this victory to a lot of people, two of 'em are standing right here - stand back, kids -
terry: oh - woah, woah, woah...burnie: alright, and michael and gavin - as a consolation prize, you did not die. barbara/gus: yaaay.lindsay: wooh! burnie: you guys want some milk? here you go. take it. there you go. terry: it goes better with this. just chase it down.burnie: you played the (inaudible) - i'll take this. terry: (inaudible)barbara/lindsay/gus: (cheering)
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