Januari 12, 2017
*wa-poosh* top o' the mornin' to ya laddies! my name is jacksepticeye and welcome back to carving pumpkins! we did one of these last year and i think it's a cool tradition to just do a carving pumpkin video every year. so, welcome back! happy birthday! happy halloween birthday
to the pumpkins! i got a bigger pumpkin this time. last year, i used a really, really tiny one to get my desired look. and i've no idea what i'm gonna carve into this yet... i'm gonna try and think up of something cool. it'll probably just be a simplistic design again, um,
but this time i'm doing it in my room. last year, i did it downstairs, um... because there was a table down there so i just dragged the table up here to do it this time because it sounded awful down there, last year. but, i'm excited! i like these!
i like seasonal videos! um, okay! i need a marker because i forgot that i need to draw a face on this little dooder. um, oh! happy halloween, by the way! did i say that that the start? probably...okay.
i'm trying to draw a different type of design 'cause i always go for the stereotypical like gnashy teeth kinda thing. this is probably bad already. i nee- i need to... i need to get something to wipe this off. dammit, i'm so unprepared! [spoopy spoon rattle] ok, mr. spoon, you're gonna have to go on the ground
'cause you're making a lot of noise. okay, this... [sighs] i'm gonna have to put your eyes, higher. drawing big eyes on this guy. i probably shouldn't even need to draw them, actually, because i can just do it... oh god. the wetness... ( í¡â° íœê– í¡â°) this is a whiteboard marker. what-what have i done to myself? okay, there's his eyes.
he's very pretty, right? :d tell him he's pretty! um...okay. what kind of teeth are you gonna have? this is where the artist in you comes out. i mean, i'm hoping that you got better at carving pumpkins since last year 'cause last year was when i was teaching you how to carve a pumpkin. so, hopefully, hopefully you've actually learned a thing or two since then. i know i haven't. [giggles]
so, this is where you can let your- your picasso, your rembrandt come out. okay. i think that'll be a good one. if we do this. right? yeah! [laughing] i think that'll be cool. um...oh god.
also, you need a bag to put all your shit into. no, don't throw yourself in there. i know you think you're a piece of shit but you're not, you're beautiful. so, okay...uhm, i've got two knives here! i-i, biggie and smallie [half-bad crocodile dundee accent] that's not a knife... this is a knife.
so i'm,- [sighs] oh god, this is gonna get dangerous. [giggles] right, so what you're gonna... [ominous giggles] the fuck was that? *jack opens his door* ...hello? [hì†í›í—ì´ì¦ìì²ì–íiìíƒììœííží‡í…ì¥í”ì—.ìˆíšìµíž ì’ì‡ì‚ìœì±ì¤ì–=ìšíœì‡íœíšì•í•ìì—íšì ì±ì£ì)ì‘í„ì’ì’í¤í¬íªì’í£í¢í‡ìªí‡ì³í™ì³ìœìì°] that was weird....
*quietly* the fuck was that..? what you gonna wanna do is to cut into little- i'm sorry buddy. i'mma have to give you a name. um... gerald. i'm sorry gerald, but i'm gonna have to cut into your head. i've never used a pumpkin of this size before either, so- oh god, all the juices... oh the juices~ (jack, my god, stop xd)
oh mother of god.... this is gonna be, this is very dangerous. do not use sharp objects at home like this if you're not a qualified professional! so technically i shouldn't be doing it [giggles].... but just be very careful when you're doing this shit, because this could go very wrong very easily! 'kay, have to get up to leverage myself! it's getting very hard to be able to dig into
this dude while i'm sitting down so... [grunts] god why didn't i go for the smaller pumpkins! i'm not able to handle a pumpkin of this stature! you're a big one gerald, but- by jesus i love you, slap your pumpkins. i told you before! slapping your pumpkins is always a good idea. get's-- get's them motivated, gets them ready to be chopped up into bits. oh there's a bit of wiggling in him.
[pop] oh yeah! you see that pop? you're gonna want a nice pop to come out of your pumpkin oh god, and then we see the braaaaains. [retching and giggling] oh god... it's so gross... uh it stinks! [unimpressed, grossed-out noise] i mean, of course it fucking stinks! it's an open pumpkin in your room...
but shut up! that's why. chopping off all your brains, gerald. hope you don't mind! y-you cool with that? blink once for yes, twice for yes.. you didn't blink at all, does that mean no? shit, didn't think that through. [laughs] ooh.. the smell of this
isn't making me feel well... [quietly] what the..? oh my god.. what the fuck?! jesus christ!... [static] okay, just got a random... nose bleed in the middle of that. i never get nosebleeds. it seems to stop now though. jesus! what a fucking coincidental time for that to happen on halloween of all
things! okay, where's my spoon that i threw on the ground? now! you have to scoop out all of your pumpkin. there's a lot of shit inside him! just like a real person. just like a real boy! so you gotta scrape, and scrape until your hands are raw and sore and there's nothing but seeds... and pulp on the inside of it... uh.. this is the part i hate about carving pumpkins. everything else
is fine. carving out the face, everything is all fun bones, fun and games, but no, this part sucks. there's so much cleaning, i hate cleaning! can you hear that? [weird, gross, rough scraping noises] ugh, i don't know if that's actually picking up on the.. on the mic. that sounds nasty! it looks even nastier! look at all the- eww! [pitched up alert noise from metal gear solid] (ugh, jack no!) oh god... ugh. now my eye is twitching. what the fuck... ok.... um.. how do i do this...i have to empty this out... oh god i didn't think
any of this through! and i can't get any of it on the floor here either 'cause there's carpet. oh yeah.... oh yeah... ( í¡â° íœê– í¡â°) does that look good? [laughing] looks like i'm fucking my own pumpkin.. [screams] no!! okay, i think we got some of you out... did we? oh yeah... ohhh, that's a heavy bag. that's like when you have a shitty nappy from a baby you know its full [laughs]
clean up! clean up! all the pieces of gerald's brain! clean up! clean up! everybody carving pumpkin! mmm! pumpkin juice! should save all this- technically this is a clean bag. i should save all this make some... soup out of it. would you like that gerald? would you like to be part of me, you and me together forever as one, you'll be in my belly
digesting? i mean we'd only be together for a couple hours and then i'd poo you out.. would you like that? would you like that? [giggle] god... my arm's getting tired. so there! the pumpkin is [voice glitching] all the pumpkin is all cleaned out.. there we go! well i could do it a little bit more freshening up... mmm! smell that fucking
gross [laughs] so now that he's all cleaned out we have to cut out your eyeball holes so i'm gonna use the smaller knife for this because it's more intricate ok don't.. i'll cut ya! careful! this is.. scary! be scared now gerald. what did i tell you before? it's just like getting a hacksaw, to your face! [sad music] (why did this happen to meee) sorry. i didn't mean to go overboard like that,
but you know how i get around sharp objects... ack! [laughs] i drifted my arm over the candles! [laughs] i'm so stupid! [grunting] it's hard to turn the knife! [grunting] son of a bitch! it's okay, it's working ooh! and just like that, his eye popped out [laughs] that was cool!
um.. i'm gonna shave the ends of you off.. oh, very nice! not too much though.. if we shave too much off then it's not gonna fit back in the hole. are you gonna fit back in? oh- (jack realizes his fuck-up) you don't need to fit it back in the hole! i'm cleaning this for no fucking reason, and now my table is all messy! god damn it! [laughs] y-y-you just leave this one empty! d'ohhh! if i use my brain... see, i have about
as much brains as gerald does right now. stop resisting gerald! ...it's time... to dìµìšì¹iì¸ì”í–eì¸ìží™ why did i call you gerald? where did that name come out of? i should have called you like pete, pete the pumpkin, but no. i like gerald. cute, suits you. suit's ya like a fuckin' no-eyed bi-- [sneeze] [laughter] two eyes out! [muffled stomping]
i swear to god i'm hearing something... that is fuckin' freakin' me out. [iì‡ì“ìƒìšíÿì¡í•ì®ì»ì©í•'ìíªììì¿ì†íì™íšì ì»mí‹ìšì‰íì¡ì»ì²ì ìƒì…ì€í¨ìží¤ì†ì‰ì¡íì¡ì¦í™ì¬ì¼ì®hììží©ìì”ì½ì“í©ì§íÿì—ìíží‡íˆì®ì²ì®ìœeìì‹ìœìí§ìíšìžrì…ìœí®í¯í®í®ì¡ì¯ì»ì ìžìeí¬í‘ì¢í ì·ì—ì°í•ì ì¦~ìƒì§ì¡ì±í”ì£ ìšì‚í¥íìµì§íšìº=í†í¥í¨ìœíªí¬í¨ìˆì‹í…ì¦ì)í§ìˆíí›í¯ìì¶í ì¤ì©ì£ì«] maybe it's just the neighbors i'm hearing... sounds like something, like, walking around or something like... stomping or banging. christ. maybe, i'm just paranoid, 'cuz i'm-- it's halloween. [bwoop ê•â€¢á´¥â€¢ê”] we have to clean up behind the eyes as
well, because, you don't want any danglers. you don't want him to look stupid. i mean if you wanted to make him look like he's rotten and decayed, there's easier ways of doing that! just leave them on the porch for like three days and... he'll do that on his own. [laughs] right! there's his eyes. now comes the mouth. the mouth is gonna be hard, but i'm gonna make him look like he's got a--hurrr.. like he has got a load of teeth. not sharp jagged teeth!
'cuz that's lame! that's not scary! even though that's what i did last year... but i'm a diff- i'm a changed man! i'm a different person! [grunting] gerald, you should go see a dentist! the teeth coming out nicely. well, at least i think they are, i haven't been able to follow the lines properly. because the knife is like... sometimes a bit too big. sometimes, i'm terrible at this.. oh god! that was scary...
um.. okay almost there... almost there... last one... [grunting] last one... did it work? is-uh is your mouth gonna come out? come on... yeah! yeah, boi! aw, cool! yessss! [triumphant laughter]
it worked! yay! now i have to wipe off all the-the marker off. because, when you can see the outline, and then you see where i didn't follow it looks stupid! you gotta just see the pumpkin for what it is. ta-da! it came out pretty well!
does your head still fit on? i hope so... yay! he's a fully formed pumpkin! (that dangly tho) okay! so, the last thing you wanna do is get your knife and you're gonna have to do fine- [static] [í‹ì§ì¡ìªì«ì³dì‘í¬íší¦ì¢íˆì³í‰ì±ì í”oí‘í›í¯í‘í¡ì¢ì¼ì£ìªì£ììœ í„ìœí„ì½í¥ì”í¨ì‰ì¸ò‰íì»ìžì ì¼ì«ì–í‡ìíšií¦ìíƒí§ìƒíªíí€ì–ì™ì°íì˜ì«ì©ì¯tìí«ìí‘í¯ìƒí›í˜í‡ì±ì³]ì‚ìšíí£ìˆìžì“ìí¦íì©í•ì¼í–í“ìžìœí• [sound gradually intesifies]
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