Januari 04, 2017
oh okay. i was trying to not talk too much.you know, the nurse was trying to make a move on me. she told me to hold her hand. she’spretty but i just don’t think it’ll work out. sorry. how long have i been under for?should i cut the red wires or the blue wires? okay but i need to cut the red wires, thered wires or the blue wires but i don’t know which will disable the bomb. (mumbling)oh really? okay. i’m trying. how long have i been out for? oh… okay. wow. okay. soi can go home now but not like in the back? so wait. can i just not feel my face or isit swollen? i need, i need to know to cut the blue wire or the red wire. which one isit? well red is power and blue is information so if i cut off the information will it automatically blow up? or should i -- ? no,i need the red wire or the blue wire. but
no, i don’t think it is ‘cause blue isinformation and the red one, the red one is the power. so if it’s the power, i needto stop the power. i don’t need to stop the information ‘cause if i cut the powerthen the information has no power. oh, i still have a wire. look at that. oh, is it out?oh, that wasn’t so bad. this feels like one of those days when you didn’t sleepright and then you woke up and took an lsd or something. i don’t even know what thatfeels like. i’ve never had lsd before but i think that’s what it feels like. likesuper dizzy. maybe it’ll wear off. oh. can i drive home? can i drive home a little bit?oh, i want to drive home a little bit. is it the red wire or the blue wire you cut?hey! that car’s about to hit the car. oh
wait. no. it stopped. wow. this is the weirdestsensation. what did i say? did i say anything that i’m like gonna regret? is this likedrunk dialing? i drunk dialed my father. i don’t feel any pain. am i going to startfeeling pain? what is this? oh please do that ‘cause i’m not going to have fun if it’swith – like the pain won’t be good. i think the gauze is moving around. i’ll talkto you later dad when i feel like not as high as i do right now. ‘cause man! that onenurse was totally flirting with me! like she was flirting with me. she wanted to hold myhand. i held her hand. it was nice. i’m not drunk. i’m just like high as a kiteand i swear that was two vans. and that right there – there’s two – there’s likea small lane and a big lane. but wait a second.
if it’s the red wire or the blue wire weneed to cut? do we need to cut the red wire or the blue wire? are you sure it’s thered – no, ‘cause the red one’s the power and the blue one’s the information. if icut the wrong one, then it blows up. they cut, oh they cut the wires? did they cut theright ones? okay. but that truck might have some wires. i looked up which wires to cutand actually you’re supposed to cut all of the wires. i can’t feel my bottom lip.aw, look at this. this feels so weird. oh wait. oh, this is dad. dad, i’m tellingyou goodbye. man, this is gonna be a fun day. there are two like i see two –the gauze is coming out of place but just some philosophy facts. but i need you to promptthe questions. what’s the questions you
need to ask? like there’s seven of themso i don’t – is this a turn one? no. i can do – i wanna go in and order the medicineon my own, all by myself. wait, we’re going through a drive thru? can i get a milkshake?my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, it’s better than yours.it’s a song mom! why am i turning off -- ? no! i wanna say hi! this is to my prosperity.to all of my children, you are beautiful. as beautiful as i am right – i think i’mchoking on the gauze. oh my gosh! there’s a lot of blood in my mouth! why is there somuch blood in my mouth?! so did they have to like put my mouth open? oh yeah. i justhave a lot to say. so while i was under, i actually dreamed. i actually had a dream andi dreamed that justin bieber came up to me
and i was dating justin bieber and he gaveme a haircut. does it look good? no this isn’t the haircut. i must’ve gotten another one.this is real. i know this is real life. i really can’t feel any of this but i know this is real life.is my tongue on my lip? it feels dry. is my tongue on my lip? am i allowed to drink things?i know ‘cause like the suction – wait. are these the dissolvable stitches? okay.so i want a milkshake. well i want cookies and cream ‘cause i like oreos but i don’twant – but you said i couldn’t have it. you think so? okay. who is this video for?can i say hi to someone in this video? hello to everyone. i love you. wait, no. i don’tlove them because i don’t know if i know them. i’ll send this to stephanie. hey stephanie!i love you. well, i hadn’t gotten that far.
yeah. i’ll send – this’ll be for isaactoo. hi isaac. i love you and your baby. you should name your female baby after me. itwould be cute ‘cause stephen is a boy’s name. okay, right now i think my lip keepsgetting into where i’m talking. it’s already 10 o’clock! okay, i’m starting to seeless double vision. uh… double. yeah, i’m starting to see less but it goes 1 – 2 – 3and i didn’t ever see triple but now i’m seeing double a little like the two cars rightthere. well, that is two. oh no, ye-. no that’s one. are they the same like the same -- ? okay,i’m not that crazy but they look like the same make and model. but what if i don’twake up? what if they gave me too much novocain? wait, they gave me a shot? i don’t know!like, did i -- ? i don’t know what happened.
they just said you’re not going to rememberthis and then that one nurse was flirting with me and then i passed out. well, i can’tdeny that. should i swallow this? no, don’t swallow the gauze. like the saliva. i feelthe gauze. oh, that is the most attractive mouth. ew… no, i feel the gauze but i wantto swallow like the saliva. probably but blood is good for you. right? am i turning intoa vampire? i am edward cullen! bye mom. so can i go get a milkshake now? is it even recording?oh it is recording, look, but it has 14 seconds. well i’ll just let it end on it’s own.wow. i really can’t feel any of this. like if you smacked me in the face then i wouldhave no idea. you have to put the lip of the cup on yourbottom teeth which i think are right there.
i dribbled some. yes. my milkshake bringsall the boys to the yard and they’re like it’s better than yours. it’s a song! it means – well, it’s dirty.like your milkshake. you know. like, you know, a woman’s milkshake. you’re welcome. highas a kite. high as a kite, night and noon, love me or leave me, seventh heaven, up andabout, over and out. it’s not that cold outside. i see the snow. i’m not dumb. whatis that? oh good. i can read! are you turning? oh, okay. what kind of medicine? is it, isit vicadin like gregory house? what’s that? can i chop it up like house and then snortit? dang it. yeah.
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